Six ways to lure him back into your life

You dumped him. Now you've changed your mind. You want him back but begging or bombarding him with text messages will only give him the upper hand. It's a good idea to do some reconnaissance before you begin. Shake that girlfriend grapevine and find out if he's a) Drinking too much and weeping into his beer when he hears 'your song', b) Dating anyone else. c.) In therapy.

If the answer's a, b, or c, you might want to reconsider your motives. Otherwise try the following, if you must:

1. Talk to his friends. Whatever you say will likely soon reach his ears. Mention in passing that you miss him, but if asked why you broke up, let out a light laugh and say: "I am not a doctor." That might just goad him into calling you. Do not, on any account, ask him out at this stage.

2. Keep a dry eye: Tears can terrify a man and make him want to flee. If you do bump into him, keep the conversation light and flirtatious. And short. You are one fabulous, fun-loving huntress, remember. Then before the conversation flags, say brightly: "Look at the time! Must dash! Bye!" Then go. And weep out of sight. Do not ask him out.

3. Talk to a gorgeous guy: Frequent his stamping ground and be seen (preferably by him) talking to the best-looking man there (even if you're just asking him the time). Watching you exchange pleasantries with a handsomehunk, especially one bigger than him, will tilt his jealousy meter, but don't get frisky. You want to trigger the I-want-her-back instinct, not the she's-a-bigger-bitch-than-I-remembered one. Then make yourself scarce. Wearing a hangdog expression is never a good look. Let him wonder where you went. Do not ask him out at this stage.

4. Show how well you know him: If, for example, he's training to be a pilot, e-mail him an article about a new type of jet and say: "I thought of you when I saw this." It will appeal to his ego, make him think you understand him and remind him what a Ben Hur it's going to be breaking in a new girlfriend. Do not ask him out at this stage.

5. Run into him accidentally on purpose: Look ravishing. Pretend you're on your way to meet "people" and have no time to chat. Just say as you head for the nearest exit: "Lovely seeing you Harry. Let's go for a drink sometime. I'll text you. "Keep it casual and throw-away, or he may think you want to tell him you have an STD. Three days later...

6. Set up a date for an after-work drink: Dinner might be too fraught. Choose a neutral venue and suggest you meet there. He'll be a little on edge, so give him the gift of a good listening to. Ply him with alcohol and laugh uproariously at his jokes. He'll forget why you ever broke up in the first place!

If things started going pear-shaped again you might want to remind yourself why you're better off without him. Click here for Ex Marks the Spot.


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