Are you a mattress or a huntress?

There's more to man trapping than just aiming your sights on your quarry. A mattress allows men to treat her like an emotional jumping castle. She gives heart, she gives soul and she gives head, but rarely does love soar into the great, wide open for her. It's more like one bumpy take-off after another. The huntress, on the other hand, always bags her stag. Take this quiz to determine whether you are huntress or mattress material:

The man you want phones around midnight, saying he wants to come round for a drink, even though he sounds as though he's had more than a few already.
1. Oh joy! He phoned at last. This is your chance. You don your sexiest nightie and rush to open the door for him.
2. You see his number flash up and switch the phone off. How dare he call so late?

On your first date you:
1. Tell him all about your hopes and dreams, why your last relationship broke up and what your therapist said. You regale him with that hilarious tale about getting drunk and smacking your boss, knocking over the wine as you replay the incident with sweeping gestures.

2. Ask him questions and pay close attention to whatever he reveals about himself.

When it comes to flirting you:
1. Shamelessly fish for compliments. You've spent hours on your appearance and you're looking good but you desperately need him to say so. You draw his attention to your bum or breasts hoping he'll tell you what a cute little sex kitten you are.
2. Focus on his mouth while he speaks. You act cool and keep him guessing. Silently, the lioness stalks her prey.

It's been a great evening and he suggests a nightcap at his place.
1. What a good idea! You like to strike while the iron is hot. Leaving now would ruin the mood and besides, you're so drunk you'll go along with whatever he suggests.
2. Thank him for a great evening but insist you must get home. It's always best to leave a man wanting more.

He says he is beginning to 'have feelings' for you.
1. It must be love! Tra la la. You encouragingly hitch your skirt a little higher.
2. You ask whether these feelings are in his heart or further south. You judge a man not by his words, but by his actions.

He says he loves you but you have yet to meet any of his friends or family. He's unavailable on weekends and you don't have his home number, just a cell phone.
1. Obviously he's an important man about town. You ensure that you're available to fit into his schedule at any time.
2. You launch an investigation of your own. National Security has nothing on you when it comes to ferreting out the truth.

He's starting to say things like: 'I love you but I'm not in love with you' or 'I'm not ready for a relationship right now' or 'I need more space'.
1. You stick around determined to change his mind by fulfilling his every whim. You do his laundry and pay his traffic fines.
2. Oops! It's time to withdraw. You become scarcer than a watermelon in winter.

He stops returning your calls.
1. You bombard him with more calls and SMS messages. Then you break into his home to check that his answering machine still works.
2. Impossible, since you never called him.

He suggests that you try hair extensions, get your breasts enlarged or lose some weight.
1. You double your workout schedule at the gym and take out a loan for the breast augmentation.
2. You need his criticism like you need more cellulite on your butt. You ask him who has been queuing up to take his photograph and bin him like an empty pizza box.

All ones: Mattress? Why, you're probably known around the neighbourhood as 'dial a bed', but help is at hand. Click here to order your copy of Handbook for the Huntress:

All twos: Congratulations huntress! No flies on you. Click here to order your copy of Handbook for the Huntress:for a friend in need.

Mix of ones and twos: Best at your schizophrenic self. Who are you really? The Handbook will help you hone your huntress skills and exterminate those musty mattress mites.

Something on your mind? Write to Huntressa: Click here


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