A fling of the past

Few former relationships, no matter how passionate, withstand the scrutiny of a return visit as Fiona discovered after agreeing to meet Brendan, her first love, behind her husband's back.

"Brendan was my world. We broke up because he was unfaithful. I had an affair to get back at him and things spiraled out of control. He broke my heart by moving in with a younger woman. For months afterwards, just the mention of his name made me cry. It took two years for my heart to mend. Then I ended up marrying reliable Raymond. You can imagine how my heart leapt when Brendan e-mailed me recently and asked to meet me. I was terrified but I had to see him. I wasn't sure how Raymond would react so I just didn't tell him."

After Fiona saw how Brendan had grown a hideous scraggly beard in an (unsuccessful) attempt to hide his second chin, and then tried to cadge money off her, the scales finally fell from her eyes.

"Double yuck!" she recalls. "All I felt was a renewed sense of appreciation for Raymond."

Fact: Your ex is a fictional character conjured up by imagination, decades of disappointment and too much time spent watching the Hallmark channel. That person who made you feel so euphoric and dizzy on life is a dream ex. Your dream ex is meant to appear only by special request: when you're looking your best. Your dream ex is essentially ephemeral. He's the guy taking up space in your head while your partner is glued to Survivor. He's not meant to physically manifest in your living room too. Understand your real ex bears absolutely no resemblance to your dream ex.

Fact: An affair that has already crashed and burned once is unlikely to burn as brightly a second time.

However, if you still insist on having a last stab with your ex CLICK HERE FOR SIX WAYS TO LURE HIM BACK INTO YOUR LIFE:

The Huntress says: "Some people think their past will shape the rest of their lives. It won't. Not unless you really force it to. Let go, already!"

Something on your mind? Write to Huntressa: Click here


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